Perfect Partner

Ann, the daughter of a wealthy millionaire was seeking the perfect partner for herself, so she approached her father to take his advise. On knowing his beloved daughters wish, the father, set out to choose the right person for her from the country’s top bachelors. He posted advertisements in papers and online. After the process was over, he had numerous applications. He sat down to go through them carefully and finally after a lot of research and hard work finalized 5 would be grooms for his precious daughter. He loved his daughter dearly and wanted her to take the final decision and make her own choice. So he invited all the five bachelors home to meet his daughter. When he told his daughter about it, she got very worried. It was a big decision and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to take it herself so she went up to her father and shared her concerns. Her father thought for some time and then announced that he would organize a shooting competition for the contestants. Whoever wins the competition will be the best choice. When his daughter heard about this , she was very surprised as her father knew very well knew that she was afraid of the sound of bullets and scared of the game since childhood.

Nevertheless, she trusted her fathers wisdom and decided to go ahead with the competition. On the destined day, all the five boys arrived on time , they were told they had to go through a shooting competition to win the rich man’s daughter.

They would be given three trials to achieve their target. The father told his daughter to accompany the boys during the competition but not to share with them that she is scared of the game so that she doesn’t make them nervous to which the daughter agreed.

The first lad came and took the gun in his hands. He looked at Ann and said watch, in a frenzy of a few seconds, he had shot 3 bullets in a row, all of them on target. He looked back at Ann, with a triumphant smile, she smiled back at him slightly shaken by the sound.

The second contestant was one of the richest businessman in town. He looked at the target and made a hand signal. A shooter wearing a helmet and carrying a gun appeared out of now where. He signalled the shooter who shot 3 rounds all at target. He looked back at Ann and said, “why take the trouble when I can pay others to do it for me”. Sounds like a good idea, Ann thought!

The third contestant came in a colourful attire. He was very smartly dressed and had a nice big car. When he got to know about the competition, he told Ann, “I don’t know shooting, but I sure know how to have a good time. Come with me”, and before she knew, Ann was in his car . He took her to the most fun places in town, they ate and danced and had a great time. This was definitely better than shooting, Ann thought.

The fourth contestant came with a set of brushes and lots of colors. He looked at the shooting board and said, “I will show you something better instead”. He took a long look at Ann and got immersed in his work. After two long hours, when he was finally done, Ann could not believe what she was. Her eyes with filled with tears as she saw one of the most beautiful portraits of herself. She was very impressed by his unique talent.

The fifth and final contestant when told about the competition, walked up to the shooting spot and shot his first bullet. But his shot totally missed the target, he looked back at Ann, and saw her with her eyes shut and her hands on her ears. He walked up to her and said, “lets take the second shot together.” Horrified at the idea, Ann said, “oh no , I’ll just spoil everything for you, I am very bad at it.” The young man, looked as his past shot and said, “it cant get worse than this, don’t worry.” Still in two minds, Ann lifted the gun with trembling hands together with him . He told her to relax and just focus on the target. This time the shot was a little better that the previous one but still very far from target. He told Ann to take the third shot on her own. He told her he would stand right behind her to take care if anything went wrong. Unwillingly, Ann took the third shot, which was still not on target but again slightly closer than the last ones. She was very pleased at her accomplishment but felt bad about the boy who couldn’t even take a single shot on target.

When the competition was over, Ann walked up to her father who was waiting for her. “So how did the event go, did you had fun” , he asked hugging her. Ann nodded narrating the whole competition to him. So who do you think is the best, asked his father. I liked them all father , they were all very different and unique in their own way but I still can’t decide who is the best life partner for me. I trust your wisdom and will go by your choice.”

Her father told her to wait in the library. “Fine, my darling”, he said, “I will send the one who is and will be your best life partner to meet you soon.” Ann was lost in the memories of the evening as she waited curiously to meet her fathers choice when she heard footsteps behind her.

As she turned to look back, she was utterly surprised to see the fifth contestant standing in front of her. But he didn’t even got the target once, she thought to herself. She excused herself from him and ran towards her father’s room. She wanted to know the reason for his decision.

When she approached him with his question, He asked, “do you not agree with my choice, Ann.” “No father, I trust your decision completely , I just want to know what makes you think he is my perfect life partner.” Her father told her to sit beside her and said.

“The first boy was highly competent and skilled but that is good for him, not for you both together. He was meeting you for the first time , but was so busy showing off his talent, he had nothing to offer to you in terms of bonding or togetherness.”

The second boy you said was very rich but any amount of wealth can deplete with time. And most importantly, you can make a comfortable life with money but for a good and happy life you need much more than that.

You had a lot of fun with the third boy, but don’t you have a lot of fun when you go out with your friends as well. He ignored the task at hand . If you keep ignoring problems in your life like this, they will never go because when you came back home after your fun times, the shooting board is still there waiting for you just like the problems in our life .

The fourth boy was very talented and artistic but had nothing to offer to you and your upcoming relationship and life together.

It is just the last contestant, who noticed your fears and tried to give you the courage to face them. It doesn’t matter whether you missed or got your shot, what matters is, you were in it together , learning, improving and sharing and that is the definition of a perfect partner my girl.”

A perfect partner is not the most competent, wealthiest, talented, artistic or fun person in the world but he is the one who stands with you together in difficult times and brings out the best in you.

No Stress With The Orange Theory Way

Mr. Brown worked as a supervisor for the production department in a leather factory. He was a diligent worker, always on time, perfectionist in his work and known for his relaxed and calm demeanor. His co workers loved working with him since he was always warm and respectful. All was going well when suddenly the markets crashed and the company started facing major losses.

Their biggest clients closed their accounts one by one and it seemed impertinent that the factory would soon close down until some large scale measures were not taken. The Management decided to go into major cost cutting and asked its human resource department to cut down at least 500 employees in the next 2 months.

Despite his good track record and 15 loyal years with the company Mr. Brown was selected as one of the employees to be fired in the first batch. There was major unrest among all the employees and all those who got to know about their dismissal, queued up in front of the managements office to protest, shouting abusive slogans. Workers stopped working in their lines and spent their last days declining any work.

The news went around like wild fire and in no time Mr. Brown got to know of the management’s plan. He was at that point working on a large order that was nearing its completion. It was a large order and required Mr. Brown and his team to work double shift, late into the night for several days before the order could finally be dispatched.

On the second night, during a coffee break, a friend and colleague of Mr. Brown saw him working late and walked up to him, he placed his hand on his shoulder and surprisingly asked him, “Don’t you know you are going to be laid off soon, just after the completion of the order”. Mr. Brown smiled and nodded. “Then why are you burning the midnight oil here, go sleep, nobody cares anyway”.

Mr Brown just smiled and went on to finish his left over job. He continued to work late into the nights for 3 weeks before the order was finally completed. The next day , he received a letter from the H.R department, announcing his dismissal. Mr. Brown quietly picked his stuff, neatly arranged it in a box and went to the Directors Room.

The director was a little uncomfortable at seeing him, he knew what would be coming, Mr Brown would call him names, demand an explanation  and he had no answers. Instead Mr Brown took a small paper from his box and handed it to the director.

The director was surprised as he read the paper. It was a Thank you note for being a supportive and wonderful Boss and talked of all the good times they had shared working together. Mr. Brown gave similar Thank you notes to his other colleagues and co workers before leaving.

That evening when he returned home he called all family members in the living room and announced his dismissal.

His wife and son were full of anger, they wanted to sue the company for removing him from service for no good reason but Mr. brown refused to do so. He just said,”They are going through bad times, I am sure it was a tough decision for them as well.”. His family was aghast and annoyed at his weak decision.

A few months later, Mr. Brown received a letter from his company. It seemed that the markets had revived and the factory had gone back again into full operations. It was an offer for Mr. Brown to join back but with promotions and a double package.

The day he joined back, the director who had last seen him saw him at the canteen, walked up to him and asked,

“Mr. Brown, when every body was infuriated and talking bad about the management, you had no resentment or anger towards anyone.

How come?” Mr. brown, opened his lunch box and took out an orange.

He smiled as he offered it to the director. “Because, I preferred to be an orange, he replied”.

Seeing the quizzical look on the director’s face, he gave one of his warmest smiles and asked….

“Why is it that when you squeeze an orange you get orange juice and not lemon juice?”

The director irritated at the stupid question but still very curious answered “Because its an orange and that is what is inside it”.

“What if you squeeze it a little more”, Mr. Brown asked further. 

“It will still be orange juice coming out”, answered the director by now slightly annoyed.

Mr. Brown calmly smiled and said, “yes and my gratitude and warmth were what came out of me when I was squeezed because that’s what is inside me.”

Moral: Life will suppress you, hurt you, push you and bang you. People and situations will work against you and call you bad names but what comes out of you as a response to these problems will represent who you truly are and what’s inside you. Be an Orange!

The False Human Belief

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime can break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

A Cup of Coffee

A Group of friends, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups…..And then began envying each other’s cups.

Now consider this: “Life is the COFFEE; the jobs, money and position in the society are the CUPS. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us”. God brews the coffee, not the cups.

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Great Lesson from A Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

Don't Hope, Decide

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

“Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”

Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”

The man suddenly stopped smiling.

He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”

Daymaker

It only takes a moment to make someone's day - to become a Daymaker. Sometimes those moments even change lives as I discovered a number of years ago. I was working in my salon one day when a client came in to have her hair styled. I was surprised to see her since it was right in the middle of her five-week period between haircuts. I figured that she must have an important social engagement, so I asked her about her evening plans.

"I don't have anything special going on," she told me. "I just want to look and feel good tonight."

I gave her a great scalp massage, then shampooed and styled her hair. During our 30 minutes together, we joked and laughed. At the end, she smiled radiantly, hugging me goodbye.

A few days later I received a letter from this client and began to realize the enormous potential of Daymaking. My client admitted that she had wanted her hair styled so it would look good for her own funeral. She had planned to commit suicide that evening. But the wonderful time she had during our appointment had given her hope that things could get better. She decided to check herself into the hospital and get professional help. She thanked me for caring, even though I hadn't known what she was going through. She wrote "thank you for being there without knowing that you were."

I was stunned. I had spent time with this woman about once a month for three years, yet that day I had no inkling she was so distressed. I was glad to have made such a difference, yet the experience left me with an enormous sense of responsibility. What if I had been upset, distracted, or hurried when she came to see me? That experience made me take stock of myself as a stylist and as a person. How many of the ten clients I saw each day might be in personal crisis? Even if it were only one person a day, I might have no way of knowing who needed some extra attention. I resolved to treat every person I met like I had treated that woman. It might sound like a lot of work, but it wasn't hard to have fun with my client that day. It was natural and made my day brighter, too.

After that experience, I vowed to give care and attention to everyone I saw. I figured it would make their day a little better, and who knows, it might save a life. I still thank my client for the gift of that letter because it changed my life as much as my kindness changed hers. When you realize the difference you can make for others, whether by spending a light-hearted half-hour together, giving them a smile, or simply holding the door open for them, your whole approach to life shifts. Why have random acts of kindness when we can have intentional acts of good will?

A celebrity is someone you want to meet and a daymaker is someone you want to be.

Burnt Toast

When  I was a kid, my Mom liked to cook food and every now & then I remember she used to cook for us.

One night in particular when she had made dinner after a long hard day at work, Mom placed a plate of bread jam and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt toast.

But Dad just ate his toast and asked me how was my day at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mom apologizing to dad for burning the toast. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burned toast.” Later that night,

I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your mamma put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired. And besides, A burnt toast never hurts anyone but harsh words do!”

You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.

What I’ve learned over the years, is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

Life is not a sharp knife to cut all those bad memories. But life is a needle to weave golden thread of sweet memories. Love your life. Live your life. It's the only one you have. Enjoy life now.

Rocks, Pebbles, and Sand

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. 

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. 

"The sand is everything else. The small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. 

"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

Cofee on The Wall

I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighboring town of Venice, Italy, the city of lights and water.

As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat at an empty table beside us. He called the waiter and placed his order saying, “Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall.”

We heard this order with rather interest and observed that he was served with one cup of coffee but he paid for two.

When he left, the waiter put a piece of paper on the wall saying “A Cup of Coffee”.

While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall. They had two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. This time also, the waiter did the same; he put a piece of paper on the wall saying, “A Cup of Coffee”.

It was something unique and perplexing for us. We finished our coffee, paid the bill and left.

After a few days, we had a chance to go to this coffee shop again. While we were enjoying our coffee, a man poorly dressed entered. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, “One cup of coffee from the wall.”

The waiter served coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity. The man had his coffee and left without paying.

We were amazed to watch all this, as the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the trash bin.

Now it was no surprise for us – the matter was very clear. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town made our eyes well up in tears.

Ponder upon the need of what this man wanted. He enters the coffee shop without having to lower his self-esteem… he has no need to ask for a free cup of coffee… without asking or knowing about the one who is giving this cup of coffee to him… he only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee and left.

A truly beautiful thought. Probably the most beautiful wall you may ever see anywhere!

The purpose of Life

There once lived a very wise man in a small village. He was the head of the local administration and respected by all for his views and opinions on a varied subjects.

People came to him in times of need or just to seek some good advise on the different aspects of life. But ironically his only son was a lazy lad, who whisked away his time eating, sleeping or enjoying with his friends outside.

No amount of advise or even threat made any difference to his attitude. As the years passed and the wise man grew old he got more and more worried about his sons future and realized he needed to give something to his son to take care of himself and the family, so one day he called his only son and said” My son, you are grown up now, you need to understand life and your responsibilities by yourself now.”

Amazed by his fathers sudden anxiety his son said, “Father, you have always been by my side to guide me always, how will i ever manage without you…I will be so lost without you…..” His father drew him close , hugged him and said, ” I want you to find the real purpose of your life and when you find it remember it always and you will lead a life full of happiness and joy.”

The son was greatly amused, what could be this important lesson that could cure all his problems in future, he wondered!

The next day, his father gave him a bag. The son was greatly surprised as he opened the bag, as it had 4 pair of clothes one for each season, some raw food, grains, lentils, some money and a map. As he wondered what he was supposed to do with the stock, his father declared….”I want you to go find a treasure”. I have drawn a map of the place where the treasure is hidden, You need to go and find it.”

Aha, so this is what father was referring to earlier, the real purpose of my life is to find this treasure that will solve all my problems in future, the son thought to himself, greatly pleased at the idea. The next day, he set out early on his journey eager to find the mystical treasure. The place described in the map was far far away and he had to cross many rivers, forests, plateaus , and mountains to reach his destination. He prayed he would meet his father , when he returned to show him his findings.

He set out on his travel, days , weeks and months passed, as he travelled, he met a lot of people on the way, some helped him with food, some gave him shelter, he also met thief’s and robbers who tried to cheat him and rob him of his belongings. As he moved through landscapes, Slowly the season changed…fall gave way to winter and spring led to summer.

When the weather got harsh, he would pause his journey for some time and again set out moving towards his destination continuously . He wanted to find the treasure before anyone else did .

Finally after a long year , he reached the cliff below which his father has told him he would find his life’s treasure. He spotted the tree, his father had described in the map and started looking around it, he searched and searched , but found nothing. He spent two days looking and digging for the treasure around that tree, exhausted he decided to go back on the third day.

Tired and devastated by his father’s lie, he headed back home. On his way back, he experienced the same changing landscapes and seasons. But this time he stopped to wonder the blooming of flowers when the spring came, the birds dancing in the falling rain. He witnessed glorious sunsets and reveled in peaceful summer evenings.

He learned to hunt for his own food, sew his own clothes and protect himself from the harsh weather. He learned to calculate the time of the day with the suns position and plan his journey accordingly. He also learned how to protect himself from wild animals and harmful plants and sherbs.

He met the same people who had helped him on his way, this time he stopped and spend some days with them to help them with their chores to show his gratitude. He realized how wonderful they were in their sense of trying to help the passers by on that route without any expectations in return.

When he reached home, he realized he had been out of his house for 2 years now. He went straight to his fathers room and was relieved to see him resting. He walked up to him and slowly whispered to him, “father”, careful not to disturb him in his sleep. The wise man opened his eyes, he got up as he saw his son and embraced him.

“So how was your journey my son”,did you find the treasure” he asked. “The journey was fascinating father,” the son quipped “but forgive me father, as i have disappointed you, I could not find any treasure, at the place described in the map. Maybe somebody took it before i reached.” He was surprised at his own answer that instead of getting angry he was asking for his fathers forgiveness. His father smiled and signaled him to sit down on a chair next to him.

“That is because there was no treasure at that place my son” he answered smiling. “But why did you send me to find it then”, he asked. “I will surely tell you why but first you tell me, how was your journey when you were going to find the treasure. Did you enjoyed the varying landscapes, experienced living in the out on your own amidst new people and changing seasons , did you made good friends on the way?”

Of course not father, i did not got distracted for a second, I had no time to do all that since I was always focused on reaching my destination as soon as possible before anybody else and find the treasure, I had no time to experience the landscape, the weather or to make any friends. But yes i did all this on my way back. I must admit i really enjoyed my journey back , I learned many new skills and mastered the art of survival, so much so, that i forgot the pain of not finding the treasure.”

His father held his hand and said “Exactly my son ,You wanted to know how to lead life and find your goals…but if you lead your life going after a goal on this journey called life , you miss out the real treasures on the way because you are so focused on finding the goal. When the truth is that life has no goal at all, other than to just live it and grow with it each day.”

To be what you were born to be and to explore your full potential each day is life’s only goal.

Carrot, Egg, and Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied. The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened! The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

A good character is the best tombstone.

Thinking Out Of The Box

Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant's beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant's debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender's wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant's garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.

What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked." Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.

Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.

The Most Beautiful Woman

Hi! How are you?” The woman smiled as she took the seat beside me. She had to lower herself slowly, squeezing her ample bottom into the seat, filling all available space.

Positioning herself comfortably, she plopped her enormous arm on our common armrest. Her immensity saturated the space around us, shrinking me and my seat into insignificance.

I cringed and reclined towards the window.

She leaned towards me and repeated her greeting in an upbeat, friendly voice. Her face towered above my head, forcing me to turn to look at her. “Hi,” I replied with obvious loathing.

I turned away to stare out the cabin window, sulking silently about the long hours of discomfort I was going to experience with this monster beside me.

She nudged me with her meaty arm. “My name is Laura. I’m from Britain. How about you? Japan?”

“Malaysia,” I barked.

“I’m so sorry! Will you accept my heartfelt apology? Come, shake my hand. If we’re going to spend six hours side-by-side on this flight, we’d better be friends, don’t you think?” A palm waved in front of my face. I shook the hand reluctantly, still silent.

Laura started a conversation with me, taking no notice of my unfriendly reactions. She talked excitedly about herself and her trip to Hong Kong to see her frinds. She rattled off a list of things she was going to buy for her students in the boarding school where she was teaching.

I gave her one-word answers to her questions about me. Unperturbed by my coldness, she nodded as she made appreciative comments to my answers. Her voice was warm and caring. She was considerate and obliging when we were served drinks and meals, making sure that I had room to manoeuvre in my seat. “I don’t want to clobber you with my elephant size!” she said with utmost sincerity.

To my surprise, her face which repulsed me hours before, now opened into extraordinary smiles, lively and calm at the same time. I couldn’t help but let down my guard slowly.

Laura was an interesting conversationalist. She was well read in many subjects from philosophy to science. She turned a seemingly unimportant subject into something to explore and understand. Her comments were humorous and inspirational. When our topic turned to cultures, I was pleasantly surprised by her intelligent comments and well-thought-out analysis.

During our conversation, Laura managed to make every cabin crew who served us walk away laughing at her jokes.

When a flight attendant was clearing our plates, Laura cracked several jokes about her size. The flight attendant roared with laughter as she grabbed Laura’s hand, “You really make my day!”

For the next few minutes, Laura listened attentively and gave pointers to the flight attendant’s weight problem. The grateful attendant said before she rushed off, “I’ve got to work. I’ll come back later and talk to you about it.”

I asked Laura, “‘Have you ever thought about losing some weight?”

“No. I’ve worked hard to get this way. Why would I want to give it up?”

“You aren’t worried about cardiovascular diseases that come with being overweight?”

“Not at all. You only get the diseases if you’re worried about your weight all the time. You see advertisements from slimming centres that say, ‘Liberate yourself from your extra baggage so that you are free to be yourself.’ It’s rubbish! You’re liberated only if you’re comfortable about who you are, and what you look like any time of the day and anytime of the year! Why would I want to waste my time on slimming regimes when I have so many other important things to do and so many people to be friends with? I eat healthily and walk regularly; I’m this size because I am born to be big! There is more to life than worrying about weight all day long.”

She sipped at her wine. “Besides, God gives me so much happiness that I need a bigger body to hold all of it! Why would I lose weight to lose my happiness?” Taken aback by her reasoning, I chuckled.

Laura continued. “Folks often see me as a fat lady with big bosoms, big thighs and a big bottom that no man would even bother to cast a glance at. They see me as a slob. They think I’m lazy and have no willpower. They’re wrong.” She held up her glass to a passing flight attendant. “More of this magnificent wine, please.” She smiled sweetly at the attendant. “Great service from your crew. May God bless all of you.”

She turned to me, “I’m actually a slim person inside. I’m so full of energy that people won’t be able to keep up with me. This extra flesh is here to slow me down, otherwise I’ll be running everywhere chasing after men!”

“Do men chase after you?” I asked jokingly.

“Of course they do. I’m happily married but men still keep proposing to me.

“Most of them have relationship problems and they need someone to confide in. For some reason, they like to talk to me. I think I should have been a counsellor instead of a school teacher!”

Laura paused before she said thoughtfully, “You know, the relationship between men and women is so complicated. Women worship men and call them, ‘Honey’ until they find out they have been lied to, and then they turn into bitter gourds! Men love women so much that they see them as their soul mates until they look at their credit card bills, and then women become devils with tridents!”

Laura’s enthralling conversation had turned the flight into something thoroughly enjoyable. I was also fascinated by the way people were drawn to her. By the end of the flight, almost half the cabin crew was standing near the aisle by us, laughing and joking with Laura. The passengers around us joined in the merry-making too. Laura was the centre of attention, filling the cabin with delightful warmth.

When we waved goodbye to each other at the arrival lounge at Hong Kong’s Kai Tak Airport, I watched her walking towards a big group of adoring adults and kids. Cheers sounded as the group hugged and kissed Laura. She turned around and winked at me.

I was stunned, as the realisation set in: Laura was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my life.

Temper Control

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was talented, creative, handsome, and extremely bright. A natural leader. The kind of person everyone would normally have wanted on their team or project. But he was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. When he got angry, he usually said, and often did, some very hurtful things. In fact, he seemed to have little regard for those around him. Even friends. So, naturally, he had few. “But,” he told himself, “that just shows how stupid most people are!”

As he grew, his parents became concerned about this personality flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father had an idea. And he struck a bargain with his son. He gave him a bag of nails, and a BIG hammer. “Whenever you lose your temper,” he told the boy, “I want you to really let it out. Just take a nail and drive it into the oak boards of that old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!”

Of course, those weathered oak boards in that old fence were almost as tough as iron, and the hammer was mighty heavy, so it wasn’t nearly as easy as it first sounded. Nevertheless, by the end of the first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence (That was one angry young man!). Gradually, over a period of weeks, the number dwindled down. Holding his temper proved to be easier than driving nails into the fence! Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He felt mighty proud as he told his parents about that accomplishment.

“As a sign of your success,” his father responded, “you get to PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don’t lose your temper even once.”

Well, many weeks passed. Finally one day the young boy was able to report proudly that all the nails were gone.

At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with him and take one more good look at the fence. “You have done well, my son,” he said. “But I want you to notice the holes that are left. No matter what happens from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It won’t matter how many times you say you’re sorry, or how many years pass, the scar will still be there. And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to us. That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We need to prevent as many of those scars as we can.”

A most valuable lesson, don’t you think? And a reminder most of us need from time to time. Everyone gets angry occasionally. The real test is what we DO with it.

If we are wise, we will spend our time building bridges rather than barriers in our relationships.

A Bowl of Noodles From a Stranger

That night, Sue quarreled with her mother, then stormed out of the house. While enroute, she remembered that she did not have any money in her pocket, she did not even have enough coins to make a phone call home.

At the same time, she went through a noodle shop, picking up sweet fragrance, she suddenly felt very hungry. She wished for a bowl of noodles, but she had no money!

The seller saw her standing wheat faltered before the counter and asked:

- Hey little girl, you want to eat a bowl?

- But … but I do not carry money … she shyly replied.

- Okay, I’ll treat you – the seller said – come in, I will cook you a bowl.

A few minutes later the owner brought her a steaming bowl of noodles. Ate some pieces, Sue cried.

- What is it? – He asked.

- Nothing. I am just touched by your kindness! – Sue said as she wiped her tears.

- Even a stranger on the street gives me a bowl of noodles, and my mother, after a quarrel, chased me out of the house. She is cruel!!

The seller sighed:

- Girl, why did you think so? Think again. I only gave you a bowl of noodles and you felt that way. Your mother had raised you since you were little, why were you not grateful and disobeyed your mom?

Sue was really surprised after hearing that.

“Why did I not think of that? A bowl of noodles from a stranger made me feel indebted, and my mother has raised me since I was little and I have never felt so, even a little.”

On the way home, Sue thought in her head what she would say to her mother when she arrives home: “Mom, I’m sorry. I know it is my fault, please forgive me … ”

Once up the steps, Sue saw her mother worried and tired of looking for her everywhere. Upon seeing Sue, her mother gently said: “Sue, come inside honey. You are probably very hungry? I cooked rice and prepared the meal already, come eat while it is still hot …”

Can not control any longer, Sue cried in her mom’s hands.

In life, we sometimes easy to appreciate the small actions of some people around us, but for the relatives, especially parents, we see their sacrifices as a matter of natural …

Parental love and concern are the most precious gifts we have been given since birth.

Parents do not expect us to pay back for nurturing us …… but have we ever appreciated or treasure the unconditional sacrifice of our parents?